The Spotlight

Tuesday January 4th, 2011

Last month Chicago-based photographer Doug McGoldrick announced a new project that we’re excited to keep an eye on (new photos posted today). One of Doug’s past projects was a behind-the-scenes look at dance companies and theaters in Chicago. “I loved the project,” Doug told me, “but when I showed it around to a few people it just seemed like it was missing a story. It was a collection of great images but had no story to back it up.” However, they allowed Doug to discover a new subject: “I really fell in love with dance during the project. I knew nothing about dance before starting, but once I started shooting the dancers, I was overwhelmed by their commitment and athleticism.”

Inspired by the hard work of the performers, Doug decided to follow one dancer throughout the year, photographing her work and her daily life, “to add in the missing story element.” A friend he met through Hubbard Street Dance connected him with Jackie Stewart, a dancer and choreographer who currently works with Thodos Dance Chicago.

I wondered what this project felt like on the other side of the camera, so I got in touch with Jackie, and asked her what Doug’s photos revealed to her about her own life as a dancer. “It is an interesting psychological experiment,” Jackie said, “to be under constant camera control.” As she reviewed the pictures, Jackie noticed the little habits that surround the dancing; the spot she places her bag every day, the seat she always picks for her lunch breaks.

For Jackie, this is all part of the way that the dancing mindset leaks over into everyday life. “As a performer, you usually crave… the spotlight,” she explained. But the spotlight usually only comes after countless hours of rehearsal and preparation. “It was a shock to be under the same performance mode and energy in my normal everyday setting,” Jackie said. “When Doug first came in to the room, I instantly felt my body and mind heighten to my performance mode, because I knew I was being observed [and] that it would be caught on camera permanently.”

Jackie tried to coach herself to become “real” and relaxed again, to “let go of a perfectionist attitude,” and had some success. But there were still some psychological surprises. When Doug was shooting a choreography session for Jackie’s upcoming concert “Dance Gallery,” she found herself unusually natural:

I felt the most comfortable this day, because this time around I was more used to overcoming my “performance mode” mentality. I also was more connected with my thoughts, because I was in my own choreographic process rather than dancing under the daily direction of a company The camera seemed to fade away… and I was able to be in my own element of idiosyncrasy and imperfections.

But this spontaneity had a surprising paradoxical effect; without attention on her dancing, Jackie found herself
“aware of the non-dance tasks that Doug was shooting of me, like eating lunch or driving my car. Again, I began to over analyze how I was performing each task and where my focus was while doing them.”

Jackie is interested in seeing how her mindset develops as she subjects her everyday life and work to careful scrutiny through Doug’s camera. Doug, on the other hand, has noticed a different dynamic. “I’m probably even more impressed now with dancers,” he said. “She rehearses every day, pretty much all day, with her dance company—and also teaches Pilates. It’s pretty amazing dedication.”

-Asad